Unforgettable Memory

Hello ! Long time not write here!

I was actually trying to write a journal everyday on my laptop, so sometimes I forgot to post here because I already write it on my journal. But, here I am ! Maybe no one will read it by the way *laugh* 2012 almost end. A lot of things happened this year. Do you think this year flow so fast? I mean, every year flow so fast. When we realized, it already about to end.

This year, I'm 20 years old. The most weird birthday I think. My ex-boyfriend gave me a birthday cake and birthday present, but actually I feel so weird and actually the present broke so fast. And the most weirdest part is, a lot of people I didn't know said happy birthday to me. A woman I didn't know even made me a birthday cake, a very delicious chocolate birthday cake. I feel weird, but I'm so grateful. A lot of person know me means my network expanded. I'm so grateful, thank you so much.

Okay, actually, I'm not going to talk about my birthday.

This happened last year, December 2011. I remember I wrote about it already, but well, anyway, I want to talk about it again. A special person to me going to play a piano. I'm not going to say his name, but he is a special person to me. When I heard he will play a piano, I feel so happy and sooooooooooo nervous on that time. I don't know why, but I'm so nervous. I don't know. I'm weird. I'm so worried, and so nervous. I'm trying to assure myself that he will make it.

And on the performance day, I was so worried waiting for him to perform (on tv). I know, he maybe already used with the pressure and television's working atmosphere. I think I'm stupid to be nervous about him, he is no one for me, not even a friend.  When he start to play the piano, my tears can't stop flowing. I didn't even realize what he song play and what song his friends sung, I just can't help but feel so relieved. I can't stop saying, "yokatta, it turns out good, yokatta..." . I'm so relieved. I'm sooo relieved. 

Okay. I'm stupid. I'm weird. I feel so nervous when someone, who didn't even know me, will perform. I still can't believe it that I cry and feel so relieved on that time. But I understand one thing, he was so special to me. That's why I care about him. I'm kinda relieved he wouldn't play the piano this year.

And this year, is the first and the last time I write a letter. Officially a love letter, which supposedly to be a thanks letter. And I stupidly sent it to him, stupid stupid stupid. I just realized that I write it as it's a love letter, not a thanks letter, one day after I sent it. That's kinda stupid. I hope it didn't reach him. I hope.

This year seems so special.
Hope I can try something new again next year.
Cheers !