Oh my head, oh my brain

Hello hello!
Sunday, no university on sunday, happy xD
How are you?

I was reading a lot of hypothesis last night. One of it is Riemann hypothesis, a hypothesis working for prime number, it implies results about the distribution of prime numbers. Okay, let's not talking about technical and maths, I know there is not much people love maths. Frankly speaking, it IS a difficult thing to understand. You want to try to read a bit about Riemann hypothesis? Check wikipedia.

Before reading those hypothesis, I set my connection to download a recorded sound-leaking of recent event (you know what I mean). Then I lightly read the hypothesis on the bed, and somehow slept. I woke up on a slight midnight, and check the downloader, I hope it already finish downloading but unfortunately, it was disturbed on the middle so it was failed. I check twitter, turn on torrent software to seed something in case someone need my files, and then slept again. This is a summary of things I do last night.

Let's go to the details. When I woke up on midnight and see my download file failed, I feel like I saw someone upload it to 4 mf link before I slept. I feel like I download it from the audio-embed site to check if I can download it or not and in case the download file failed, I will try from mf. But when I check it again after I woke up, this person didn't upload it to MF or anything, but I really felt that I saw those links before I sleep. Is it "I-saw-mf-links" is a dream? why it feel so real? or when I slept, the uploader delete her post? Or just a dream? which one? And when I check twitter before my second sleep, I see someone tweeting about it, and I ask her if she have mf links... and I don't remember who I ask xD

On my second sleep, I dreamt of driving a car which my old neigborhood's, while someone help me pushing the brake and gas.

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Difficult to understand, right? My english seems worse and worsen, and worsen theses days.
I don't have enough sleep LOL I will continue my sleep today.
In the end, I ask one of my friend to download it from the audio-embed version or maybe I should try to download it again using my university connection. And the mf links case remains mystery.... =P

Uh oh.
You know about skewes' number? It's a number which claimed to be the closest to infinite number. You can imagine what kind of number? Oh course it's not 99999999999~ , not that. So the rail is zero - number - skewes number - infinite number. Don't forget about prime number and it's pattern too. They said mathematics are romantic because they are working on abstract thing.

So.
Don't read math hypothesis before sleep. It will disturb your brain.
The end. LOL.

Hello mr.Doppelganger

When destiny try to twist by itself.

Day by day, you come, and come, and come to my mind.
Again, again, and again. It's hard to brush you up from my heart.
Well hello mister doppelganger, can you please let me hear your words?




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Okay, trying to be artistic with words. But, this is really words which illustrating what happened now to me. I try to address him as mister doppelganger for our 'same'-ness and 'opposite'-ness. I'm so thirst to talk to him, to hear his mind words. I don't know if I can categorize this as love, or just a simple adore.

I don't have particular type I want from a man. Just simple, brainy and older than me. I can't even see my university friends as 'a man' because I tend to see them as a person on the same age with me. Well, yes, even with the senior, I can't see them as 'a man', even if they can be categorized as a brainy man. Then ? What actually I search on a man? Nothing. Seriously. I can't and never feel love in the first sight. I should know him as my friend first. Yes, I don't have particular type but I'm a person who tend to be a fan of my boyfriend. If a man caught my attention, he will be "my type".

That's why... I think I adore this person in the first time. He is not even my friend or anything, he is just a man out of my range. He is so smart with his words, he put his friend first, he is attractive in my eyes. I'm so curious with all of the question piled up since I know him. Why we are so similar in a lot ways? Why we have something so opposite?

Day by day, my question piled up more and more.

Well, if we think about it closely, this is what human called about. Human completing each other. Similar things between humans, and the opposite things between humans. All of the human in this world like that. Do I really love him? Or it is just because I adore him, he always in my mind?

Because I think of him, I start to get off from my own track. Please get out from my head. I'm trying not to be jealous, because jealous can't give me anything. I can't help to cry out my frustration, I want to hear your voice so badly. Maybe I will cry in the time I see you. And with all of this proof, why I can't assure myself that I love you?

Dear myself, why you can't fall in love easily?

Dear mister on my mind...

What would you think if there is someone, separated more than 1000 miles from you, didn't know who you are, never meet you, and then he talk about the same thing like you, have same opinion like you, read something that you read, and this thing didn't happened once.

This person and me, how's the destiny will connect us? Are you a destined person? or a doppelganger? Or this is just a mere coincidence between us?

I do try to know this guy, I do my best. But if I had chance to meet him, there would be something that make me can't meet him. If I try to search for his contact, I always hit a wall and stop on his co-workers or his best friend and they would never told me his number.

The more I try to know this person, it feels more impossible. I feel so much wall between me and this guy, there is a lot of 'things' which didn't want me and this guy meet.  The more I try to know this person, the more I feel weird. There is a lot of same things we share, and there is a lot of differences too. 'Complete hte same' things, and 'complete opposite' things.

I want to try to talk with this guy.
I'm so curious with this guy.
Wonder if he feel the same?
I bet not, he didn't know me btw.

I want to believe that this is not the right time for us to meet.
Maybe there would be any perfect right time to meet, right? :-)