Kokoronotomo TV program launching event + でんぱ組.Inc (dempagumi.inc) mini live

Just one day before the event, my friend ask me to go with her to a launching event of a new television program titled "kokoronotomo". I'm actually not really want to go anywhere because I'm so tired with university thingy, but because she said she have no one to do with her so I decide to go with her. The event held at Plaza Senayan, Jakarta, February 16, 2013.

It's Saturday so I still have to attend a class at uni, and then I met my friend at around 1 pm. I was stupidly use a high heels and stupidly hurt my own feet because walk too much. I thought I should buy a flat shoes when I arrived on Plaza Senayan, but somehow I feel too lazy to walk so I keep using it all day. Yay I survive with high heels FULL DAY (sorry, I'm a sneaker girl xD)

I understand one thing, I try too hard

February 2013, 5 years already? maybe. This problem haunt me, unexpectedly.

Everyone thinks I'm a strong girl, but there is no such things as a strong person. Every person laugh, every person cry, every person has their own problem. The differences is just how they express it. I don't like showing my emotion to anyone, I don't like people see my weaknesses, I don't like people see me crying, and the problem is I never think I have a problem. People make me angry, and in seconds I forgive them, but in the other hand I can't forget the pain they caused to me.

Up until now, I still can't forget how they betrayed me, how they lied to me, how they blame everything to me. The pain haunts me, yet I didn't realized it till now. I always think everything is fine, I can do this, and I can go through all of this. But, no.

Unexpectedly, I let my tears fall down a lot without realizing what is really happened to me. Recently, I can't eat anymore, I feel so stressed and feels like having a heavy, heavy burden. I don't understand what happened exactly.

But now I understand.
I try too hard.
I try too much.
I can't slow down.

But I know, I don't have much options. If I didn't get myself busy, those pains will haunt me again, and again. I can't slow down, or else I will found myself depressed. I don't know what should I do, I don't know what exactly I want.

I know, I can go through this. I shouldn't let myself stop, I shouldn't let myself down. Maybe I still can't found the answer but I will continue to walk.

Keep smile ! Keep positive ! Life is a process !