Pain and tears, trial and error

These days, I taste a lot of bitter experience. In such a short span of time, failed a lot in various field.

It's already four years since my body gotten this weak. How much I blame myself for my own condition. I never can forget the night I spent with pain and tears. Just how much it hurts me that I can't be as active as I was in the past. Entering my third year of university, I realized that I missed a lot of things. I didn't enter any clubs, I only have a little circle by my own, and this kind of condition can't satisfy myself.

"I wish to live a life with the attitude of never to compromise and give in to myself. "
A word that I keep on my head. I promise to myself that I won't compromise with anything. I won't let myself keep this weak anymore. I don't really care if my body crushed anytime. I'm a strong girl, heart and body, yesterday, now, tomorrow, and always. (And thanks for someone who said that words, actually, it save my heart a lot. Only if I can thanked you in person :') )

Bitter experience came up a lot since the time I decide to be strong. I failed a lot in various field. I try this, failed. I try that, failed. I choose this, wrong. I can't said this as a "problem", since it's not really a problem itself. I feel so disappointed of myself, I feel so frustrated. I already done my best, and I still failed. Not in one thing, but a lot of things.

I'm now at the point where I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what is my specialty.  I didn't know which road I should take.
I can do nothing. I feel so weak. It seems like this is not myself. 

In such a short span of time, a lot of things happened.  Bitter, and of course, good thing happened too.
Yes, Life is trial and error process. Sometimes you need to be knocked down just to make you stand up higher. 
Life is the education process. Trial and error process. Up and down cycle.

Thinking positive. I got a lot of experience, very nice experience. Even that I was failed, I hope this won't let me down too much. I'm really sorry that I have such a roller-coaster mood.  Even I was cried, I can't cry too much because I know I should stand up and face all of it. Maybe, I'm not suited on 'these' fields and there will be MORE AND MORE AND MORE field I can get myself into it.
 
I hope, I can do better next time. 
Yes. I'm a strong girl, heart and body, yesterday, now, tomorrow, and always.