~Happy New Year 2012~

So!
Happy new year!

Time will never stop ticking, and we are already on the new year. Time goes so fast, one year already pass and now we are heading to a new year, 2012. A lot of thing happened last year, 2011 will be so memorable for me. Well, every year is memorable. Nothing we can forget, because it is already our past. Don't be so stupid to try to forget our past, even it is a sad or hurt one, because we need our past to overcome our self, we need it to become a better us. There is a lot of thing hurt my heart, and maybe I unintended hurt someone. All people are connected each other, no matter how thin the string which connecting us. Just remember, there is no thing are a coincidence, everything is inevitable.  

Last year is a year of meeting and parting too. Well, there is no meeting without parting. Last year, I finally have a courage to parting with my beloved "boyfriend", and after that I meet someone who inspire me a lot. I never know that "this person" will be someone so special for me, and maybe I will never know if I'm not breaking up with my bf (now ex-bf). Everything happens for a reason.  

"Year" is just something we people create to identified time, but actually we are in our own "time". We are the protagonist of our own story. We are the one who write our own story. We are the one who decide if we'll having a happy life or sad life. So, lets head a new year with a smile. Don't waste your time to be sad, do not write something sad on our own story. Happy new year, and I wish for your smile :)

Wishlist? The only one thing I want now is only Sakurai Sho's new year card with his dragon drawing on it. But it is impossible so I won't take my hope high on it. ahahahaha I hope all of the people in this world can smile longer, even just one second longer.

1 January 2012, with love.

Lady red, soranarumi

I'm singing for you..

There are no coincidences in this world. There's only the inevitable.
~ Yuuko (xxxHolic)

I think the moment I know you should not considered as a coincidence anymore. A lot of thing happened because of you. I changed a lot, because of you. I smile a lot, because of you. For all the same and differences aspect we had, I always wonder what kind of destiny we share together?

The moment I realized I love you, is the moment I understand that I should not. You are like a sun, shining so bright yet unreachable. No matter how hard my hand try to reach you. Does my feeling reach you?

Well, I don't care anymore. I crave for you more and more. I want to be your smile. I want to be your strength. I want to be by your side. I want to hug you. I want to be your happiness. Right now, I do what I can do for you. I wish for your happiness. I wish for your health. I wish for your smile. I pray for you.. Everything..

Hey, now I'm singing for you.
I don't care if anybody would listen. I know you will not listen too. I don't care. As long you are smile there. As long as you are happy there. I don't mind for being not happy, as long as you are happy. I always pray for your happiness, on each single day, each single time, each single breath..

Anata no chikara ni naritai. Ima no watashi wa, anata wa egao dake de mo ii.
Egao dake de ii yo. Anata no egao wa watashi no chikara ni nareru kara.
Watashi no taiyou, o shiwase ni..
Suki da yo, aishiteru..

I love you, my shining bright sun.

For my shining bright sun,

30 December, 2011

Skill are meant to be improved

I don't care what kind of person you are, as long as you have the skill I needed. The fact that your skill is not grading down is the same as you are not improving. Someday, you'll can't keep up with me. Skill are meant to be improved. If you think that you are stable, it means that you are started to grading down your own skill

I read this sentence on Iryuu ~Team Medical Dragon~, manga volume 20. The sentence is quite simple. Implying that if you think you are now in a stable condition, but in the fact you are not improving, then it means you are grading down your own skill. Skill are meant to be improved.

Remember what the genius, Steve Jobs say?

Stay hungry, stay foolish.

I think it have the same meaning. Stay hungry means, never be pleased. Stay foolish means, never feel you are smart or you are on the top. So over all, it means, you have to be never pleased, you have to always try something new and improved yourself because you are not and will never be the top.

I think I've degrade my own skill. At this moment, I saw that I don't have any improvement in every single task I had. I admitted that I 'm being lazy on this semester and I can't be like this forever! I'm really afraid that I'll not passed on this semester because of my own slacking state.

Reading the first sentence, I'm afraid if my skill is going to be down. Actually, I think it is stable, but that means I'm not improving even a bit. I already learn a lot of programming language like C, C++, C#, Lisp, Phyton, Ruby, Java, Flash programming, even PHP. Thinking that I'm stable, and after reading that sentence, I'll try making a program with those language and I can't do nothing. I already forgetting all of them.  At that time, I'm really regretting all of my slacking action and I have to start over all of this. No more slacking!

So I came up with one conclusion: even if you already master it, if you are not polish it again and again, you will forget all of it and all of your try to master it will be a non-sense act.

so, think twice if you think you are stable.
remember, skill are always meant to be improved!

December Wish ♥

Please welcome, December. The end of this year is coming. If you have winter on your country, I will be so envy. YES, no winter in Indonesia, no snow! But I do want snow! GIMMEEEEE!!! *bricked*


//calm down

The one thing I sure remember about December is, SNOW (but no snow here). And the most important is... Winter Solstice. What is Winter Solstice? Winter Solstice remarks of the first day of Winter. It is about 21 Dec or 22 Dec. I do love cold weather rather than hot weather, maybe because I live on such a tropical country make me carving for cold weather or maybe if I can have a wish, I hope there is snow in Indonesia.

Because I'm a muslim, I did not celebrate Christmas, so that day have no mean for me. And New Year too, I'm really happy if I can spend it with my friends, BUT, my asthma will not let me go on such a cold night. Okay, I'll be home and just drink my hot cocoa ♥

Okay, lets go to the main topic. My December Wish :
I want him to smile, everyday. I want him to be happy, everytime. 
I want him to be success, for the entire of his life. I want to meet him. 
I miss him so much.

It is really different with my November wish. I do realize why, I adore someone and I feel so thankful to him, so I want him to be happy for the entire of his life. Of course I want him to be by my side, but I know it is impossible, I know my own limit, so I just can hope he is happy there on his life.

Maybe this asthma will kill me someday...

I don't know what to do. Everything seems so wrong. 
This case already happened since monday (11/21) and tomorrow is Friday (11/25)
I'm afraid to sleep because everytime I wake up, my asthma will come again.
But if I'm not sleep, the asthma can be worsen.

And this medicine is stupid. There is no expired date on it, I mean, no expired year.
It is only "Nov10A19/nov15", oh cmon, is it 10 november or november 15 from what year to what year?? 

I dont understand what that code mean. I'm not a medical student =___=
It is already 11 pm here, no one can take me to any 24 hours drug store..
Ah,  I dont care. I just drink the tablet of this medicine.
My asthma got reduced but now my chest is really hurt, my cough did not reduced even a bit.
Ahahahaha stupid.

I have english presentation tomorrow but I dont caaaaare~
Well.. lets have arashi medley till morning come! xD

Monday train is surely piling up stress

I always taking train from my house to the university because they are in different city. I'm taking early train because I have class on 7 am, so I'm taking 5.30 am 's train. I always go to the university in a dark morning, yihaaa xD ahahaha <-- stress

 

courtesy from ItteQ. Even there is street musician on Economic Train xD

Okay, Monday is a busy day. A lot of people went off early in monday morning. Well, busy people. There is two kind of train in Indonesia, one is Commuter Line (with AC) and Economic train (without AC). I can't take Economic because it is too crowded!! If you are Japanese, Imoto-san from ItteQ TV show already try Economic train and she.. almost dead xDD Well, it is funny to see her trying it in busy time, it is not safe for girls especially me because I have to bring my laptop everyday ahahahaha .Well, Commuter Line is crowded too (in busy hours like 6 am till 8 am when people are went off for work and 5 pm till 9 pm when people went off for home) but the early 5.30 am train is not really crowded. In Commuter Line train, there is girls-only place too, so it is safe from sexual-harassment case.

Okay back to topic.
In Monday, the 5.30's train is crowd. Why? because Monday is Busy day. I'm trying to pack myself so I can go in, BUT there is annoying ma'am's group sitting NOT on the train's chair. They are using packed chair and sitting in front of the unused door. The situation is much like this: 

This photo is not mine, and this is on the mixed place. 

But the situation is much like this. There is people using their own chair on the train.

You know how I feel. The train is crowd, and there is people using their own chair. THEY ARE WASTING PLACE! GOSH, THIS IS MENTAL-HARASSMENT! SRSLY. Even there is a rules saying that we can't used our own chair on the train. I think it is okay to use your own chair IF the train is not crowded, I really don't mind it BUT if the train is full please do not used it!!

And you know, people keep saying "please stand up ma'am, the train is crowded, please let the other have space" and they are ignoring it. And there someone saying, "dear teacher, please don't use your own chair" <-- well from this talk I know that the ma'am group is all teacher.  And they are replying : "it is okay, we will set off from train on Lenteng Agung". In that time, Lenteng Agung station is remain two station later. Well, no one complaining, after all we have just to resist for another two station.

Two station passed, they are not moving! And they are set off in the same station with me, on the next 8 station on Cawang station. Do you can imagined how I feel?? Angry, lost of my patience, and disappointed. 

I'm really disappointed because they are TEACHER, oh gosh, where is your INTEGRITY as a TEACHER? The train is crowded and it is hard even to stand but they are just sitting in their own chair and babbling and mumbling and talking randomly =___= you are only a teacher if you are at school?? so, if a teacher are not at school they are not a teacher? well this kind of thing can be called mental-harassment. We are buying ticket so we deserved for our space, they are buying ticket and I'm buying too. People buying too, so we shared the same train. But please can we consider each other, we are the same! We can be so tired too, not just you so you dont have right to just sit as you please with your own chair and make the space for other gone. One space for people sitting by their own chair can be consider for two space for people standing. Ah, I really bad at explaining in English. But you sure know what I mean. Is it okay for people to using their own chair IF the train is not crowded, but IF it is crowded, please DO NOT USE IT.