20 facts..... err random things about me

Actually, I was tagged on instagram for #20factsaboutme about 2 months ago (wow!). To be honest, I don't see the point of writing a long post on instagram, so I decided to write it up here on my blog.

About dream...

So many doors of opportunity but you can't choose any of it.
You get stuck. Hit the same wall, again and again.
Just how many times I need to hit this wall until I found the right way to break it?

.... a dream, Vampire vs Butler

I'm searching for my mom to her 'new' work office (?), telling her for buy meats before the meats sold out. Everything feels like the Armageddon, everyone trying to survive and bought a lot of food for survival preparation. 

I met a man, he is an artist, singer, and a concealed butler. This man seems familiar, and I love him. We go to a certain shopping mall and we had a shopping date on the bookstore. He was searching for a folder/binder for his paper works. But, because he is a popular artist, we shop secretly on the bookstore, and it was kinda difficult to find a folder with design he would love to.

After that, we go with a bus and found that there are vampires (around 4) targeting us. We fight the vampires on the bus, and I manage to steal their 'super long magic wand'. The magic wand can freeze the vampire for a certain seconds if you know the right spell, but I don't know the spell so I'm just hitting the vampire until I found the spell. But just a few after I used it, the crystal on the magic wand cracked and I can't used the spell anymore, and waiting until the crystal restored.

We manage to taken down the 3 of them, and we knocked the 4th out the bus. But the 4th fall and met my little brother and kidnap him. I'm crying, thinking that my little brother will get eaten, but the 4th vampire is a hairdresser so he had his hair cut. The artist changed into his butler costume, and I hug him before the last fight. A long long hug, long long hug before he fight.

And I wake up.
Checking on my phone, it's 6.40 am, 7 October 2013.
//sorry for my bad English, I woke up and wrote it down immediately.

If I live at Hogwartz...

Good morning ! er... good afternoon?

It was raining all night and morning was clouded with mist, big probability that I will sleep again for the second time. But no ! I went for a blog-walking today and found an interesting quiz again. This time I take a quiz from funasdodgeball[dot]com about what if I live at Hogwartz. You know about Hogwartz, don't you? It's a famous school from Harry Potter series. And here is my result:

 

First part of the result. Okay, a half-blood Griffindor. And wow ! Wolf patronus ! That would be cool ! But, my boyfriend is Draco Malfoy, seriously? LOL Well, I kinda love bad role but Draco please fix your hair, I don't like it. My best class is Defense Against Dark Arts, and I would love to be the seeker on Quidditch game *___*

 

Second part of the result. I can't help but laughing reading HP's comment, "Why she is interested in Malfoy I'll never know". Exactly ! Well, actually, some people told me the same (change Malfoy to my boyfriend name) xD

..... wait, why the game choose my name as 'Tiffany' ? xD
May I choose another name, please ? xD

Trying Doubutsu Uranai (動物占い)

When I do some blog-walking, I found an interesting link about Doubutsu Uranai, or written as 動物占い in Japanese. Doubutsu Uranai is a fortune-telling which break down human characteristic into 12 different kind of animals using date of birth. You can check your own Doubutsu Uranai at english site or japanese site.

I'm not saying fortune-teller is an absolute thing but sometimes it's fun to check our characteristics. I don't really interested with future fortune-telling :-S

I borned at April 7. So my results are:

You are Purple Panther who tends to be precautious, and unlike your gentle atmosphere you are strong-minded and courageous woman.

You don't listen to other people, and carry out with your opinion. Although you don't possess coolness to see things objectively, and analyze subjects intelligently, you have great natural instinct. You have flexible thoughts, and can lead life with perseverance. You will not miss opportunity. You can adapt and sort out difficulties that you come across. You can face the things that interest you with unusual effort and spirit, but you will not even try to see those things that you are not interested.

You seem like a gentle and kind person, but really you possess lots of problems and are always struggling within yourself. People are unable to understand your complicated feelings. This increase your problems further. You are a person with great dreams and are active and possess straight forward baldness. You can show this talent in your career. You will not be able to stay quietly at home as a housewife.

Classifications by color:

Panther basic personality:

1. Panthers are uncompromising with honor and pride
2. Panthers like to be the center
3. Panthers want to talk about themselves
4. Panthers like new things
5. Panthers are smart dressers
6. Panthers like to change jobs
7. Panthers wear their feelings on their sleeve
8. Panthers are easily hurt
9. Panthers have a strong sense of justice
10. Panthers don't want to retire

Classifications by group:

I'm panther type so I'm on Full Moon group. Full Moon Group is Objective-Oriented type and Other Person Conscious, means:
- Objective oriented type
This type of person acts after thorough and careful planning. And if they decide on something, they will not want to change their mind in the middle. They work hard to achieve the set objective, and think very high of achievements.
- Other person consciousness.
Person in this side prefer to act according to other peoples pace. Therefore, even if they have their own opinion, they can give priority to other people's demands, and do not feel stress.

............

Results from Japanese site:
(I did the uranai at March 3rd, so it's in Hinamatsuri style)(sorry for rough translation)

Phanter.
スタイリッシュな目立ちたがり屋 (Stylish and Attention Seeker)

俊敏な黒ひょうのようにスマートであることを大事にしているあなた。メンツやプライドにこだわり、リーダーシップを取りたがります。しかもオシャレで新しもの好き。最新の情報・流行を敏感にキャッチして、人より１歩前を歩きます。
(Just like a panther, you are a smart person. Uncompromising with honor and pride, often given responsibilities as leader because of the high level of leadership. Moreover, you are stylish and love to try something new. You always one step forward from the other in the matter of newest information or in fashion trends)

恋愛は見た目重視。性格は二の次です。普段は感情表現がいまいち苦手なくせに好きな相手には素直に自分を見せて、持ち前のリーダーシップでデートの仕切りもばっちりです。
(For romance, you are appearance-oriented. Next is personality. You are having problem to express your honest feelings to the others, but in front of your beloved one, you can show yourself honestly. Born with leadership, your date plan choice is perfect).

Character analysis by gender:

黒ひょう女性は、女王様
(Panther woman, is a queen)

黒ひょうの女性は、弱みを見せない女王様タイプ。美人が多くて、おしゃれ命。
本人も華やかなムードだからか、人がうらやむ華やかな職業や男性に憧れます。
(Panther woman is a type who wont show their weaknesses to other. Beautiful and stylish.
Because herself always in gorgeous mood, she adore a spectacular man and spectacular job which can make everyone jealous)

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Long long page just about fortune-telling. 
But yes, I don't like showing my weaknesses in front of another person, sometimes I can't even cry in front of my boyfriend or friend. I'm not stylish, but friends often said they want what I wear. I love trying something new and I tend to get bored easily.

Once again, You can check your own Doubutsu Uranai at english site or japanese site.
How's your result? Is it amusing?
xD

Pain and tears, trial and error

These days, I taste a lot of bitter experience. In such a short span of time, failed a lot in various field.

It's already four years since my body gotten this weak. How much I blame myself for my own condition. I never can forget the night I spent with pain and tears. Just how much it hurts me that I can't be as active as I was in the past. Entering my third year of university, I realized that I missed a lot of things. I didn't enter any clubs, I only have a little circle by my own, and this kind of condition can't satisfy myself.

"I wish to live a life with the attitude of never to compromise and give in to myself. "
A word that I keep on my head. I promise to myself that I won't compromise with anything. I won't let myself keep this weak anymore. I don't really care if my body crushed anytime. I'm a strong girl, heart and body, yesterday, now, tomorrow, and always. (And thanks for someone who said that words, actually, it save my heart a lot. Only if I can thanked you in person :') )

Bitter experience came up a lot since the time I decide to be strong. I failed a lot in various field. I try this, failed. I try that, failed. I choose this, wrong. I can't said this as a "problem", since it's not really a problem itself. I feel so disappointed of myself, I feel so frustrated. I already done my best, and I still failed. Not in one thing, but a lot of things.

I'm now at the point where I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what is my specialty.  I didn't know which road I should take.
I can do nothing. I feel so weak. It seems like this is not myself. 

In such a short span of time, a lot of things happened.  Bitter, and of course, good thing happened too.
Yes, Life is trial and error process. Sometimes you need to be knocked down just to make you stand up higher. 
Life is the education process. Trial and error process. Up and down cycle.

Thinking positive. I got a lot of experience, very nice experience. Even that I was failed, I hope this won't let me down too much. I'm really sorry that I have such a roller-coaster mood.  Even I was cried, I can't cry too much because I know I should stand up and face all of it. Maybe, I'm not suited on 'these' fields and there will be MORE AND MORE AND MORE field I can get myself into it.
 
I hope, I can do better next time. 
Yes. I'm a strong girl, heart and body, yesterday, now, tomorrow, and always.

Oh my head, oh my brain

Hello hello!
Sunday, no university on sunday, happy xD
How are you?

I was reading a lot of hypothesis last night. One of it is Riemann hypothesis, a hypothesis working for prime number, it implies results about the distribution of prime numbers. Okay, let's not talking about technical and maths, I know there is not much people love maths. Frankly speaking, it IS a difficult thing to understand. You want to try to read a bit about Riemann hypothesis? Check wikipedia.

Before reading those hypothesis, I set my connection to download a recorded sound-leaking of recent event (you know what I mean). Then I lightly read the hypothesis on the bed, and somehow slept. I woke up on a slight midnight, and check the downloader, I hope it already finish downloading but unfortunately, it was disturbed on the middle so it was failed. I check twitter, turn on torrent software to seed something in case someone need my files, and then slept again. This is a summary of things I do last night.

Let's go to the details. When I woke up on midnight and see my download file failed, I feel like I saw someone upload it to 4 mf link before I slept. I feel like I download it from the audio-embed site to check if I can download it or not and in case the download file failed, I will try from mf. But when I check it again after I woke up, this person didn't upload it to MF or anything, but I really felt that I saw those links before I sleep. Is it "I-saw-mf-links" is a dream? why it feel so real? or when I slept, the uploader delete her post? Or just a dream? which one? And when I check twitter before my second sleep, I see someone tweeting about it, and I ask her if she have mf links... and I don't remember who I ask xD

On my second sleep, I dreamt of driving a car which my old neigborhood's, while someone help me pushing the brake and gas.

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Difficult to understand, right? My english seems worse and worsen, and worsen theses days.
I don't have enough sleep LOL I will continue my sleep today.
In the end, I ask one of my friend to download it from the audio-embed version or maybe I should try to download it again using my university connection. And the mf links case remains mystery.... =P

Uh oh.
You know about skewes' number? It's a number which claimed to be the closest to infinite number. You can imagine what kind of number? Oh course it's not 99999999999~ , not that. So the rail is zero - number - skewes number - infinite number. Don't forget about prime number and it's pattern too. They said mathematics are romantic because they are working on abstract thing.

So.
Don't read math hypothesis before sleep. It will disturb your brain.
The end. LOL.

Hello mr.Doppelganger

When destiny try to twist by itself.

Day by day, you come, and come, and come to my mind.
Again, again, and again. It's hard to brush you up from my heart.
Well hello mister doppelganger, can you please let me hear your words?




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....
Okay, trying to be artistic with words. But, this is really words which illustrating what happened now to me. I try to address him as mister doppelganger for our 'same'-ness and 'opposite'-ness. I'm so thirst to talk to him, to hear his mind words. I don't know if I can categorize this as love, or just a simple adore.

I don't have particular type I want from a man. Just simple, brainy and older than me. I can't even see my university friends as 'a man' because I tend to see them as a person on the same age with me. Well, yes, even with the senior, I can't see them as 'a man', even if they can be categorized as a brainy man. Then ? What actually I search on a man? Nothing. Seriously. I can't and never feel love in the first sight. I should know him as my friend first. Yes, I don't have particular type but I'm a person who tend to be a fan of my boyfriend. If a man caught my attention, he will be "my type".

That's why... I think I adore this person in the first time. He is not even my friend or anything, he is just a man out of my range. He is so smart with his words, he put his friend first, he is attractive in my eyes. I'm so curious with all of the question piled up since I know him. Why we are so similar in a lot ways? Why we have something so opposite?

Day by day, my question piled up more and more.

Well, if we think about it closely, this is what human called about. Human completing each other. Similar things between humans, and the opposite things between humans. All of the human in this world like that. Do I really love him? Or it is just because I adore him, he always in my mind?

Because I think of him, I start to get off from my own track. Please get out from my head. I'm trying not to be jealous, because jealous can't give me anything. I can't help to cry out my frustration, I want to hear your voice so badly. Maybe I will cry in the time I see you. And with all of this proof, why I can't assure myself that I love you?

Dear myself, why you can't fall in love easily?

No plan for holiday, and weird phenomenon

Ello~
Long time not see (after JLPT incident)
Sora speaking.

I'm still on my super long holiday till September, and do nothing but sleep and playing around the net everyday. Singapore cancelled, London cancelled, Japan cancelled. All of my plan cancelled so I do nothing LOL My parents are so moody, one day they say "okay you can go", and the other they would say "no you can't go". Hmph. Okay. No plan for this holiday.

Recently, I got a very high fever. Well, the cause is funny.
Here in Indonesia is already entering a transition period, where it's not summer nor rainy season. There is a lot of mosquitoes on this period. One night, I spray my room with anti-mosquitoes and I suppose to not entering my room for the next one hour, but I forgot and spent 15 minutes on my room until I cough a lot and realizes I was half poisoned already. And after that, I got fever. Perfect xD It's already three days of fever, and I can do nothing.
My family only laugh on me when they know I got fever because of this.

And there is a weird phenomenon too. That is the first time I cry of happiness.
There is someone I admire so much, and people talk about him on twitter about how his works and much, and they appraise him. When I read it, I'm burst with tears and somehow feel so proud (oh hello who are you? xDD). This feelings happen a lot, but I never feel so happy until I cry. It's not about me but somehow I feel so happy as it was me. My friend told me, "That is the signal that you love him dearly". Seriously?
I remember the new year time, I heard he will do 'something', I was so happy but I feel worried about him. And when I saw it going smoothly, I cried and said "yokatta T___T" a lot. Maybe, I was super nervous rather than him so when I saw it went smoothly, I was crying as I relieved it was okay.
Maybe, I love him for serious. Really? I still didn't believe it myself.
Oh, I don't really trust love these days. I want to focus on my study now. Study >> Love.

That is weird phenomenon number one.

The other is..
I have some kind weird habit to check every news on the morning. Both my local/domestic news and international news. I sometimes talk with my friend about that news. I feel uneasy if there is something happened and I have no clue what is it, so I check news everyday. And until one day I realized, the news I talk on the morning will be headline on the night news. I was like ===> 0___________________0 REALLY?? Well, it only happen twice (2 last week consecutively). I hope this is just a mere coincidence. I hope.


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oh my god, so random
LOL

Thanks for reading.

JLPT and ... *sigh*

Sunday, July 1, 2012. I'm going for JLPT test (nihongo noryokushiken). This is my first time taking JLPT so I'm so excited to go. I ready to go at about 8 am (test is 10 am), and take train. In the train, I do my morning routines like checking news, saying hi to people I talk the night before (I tend to slept in the middle of conv =P), and then I practicing kanji with one of my android application. I was so into my phone, sho when the train stop to a certain station, I panicked and went off from the train.

This called.. destiny?

I always wonder what truly happened between us.
What is truly connected us? Song? Sky? Stars? ...or heart?

We never met. Well, I can see you anytime I want.
But you can't. Not "can't", but you didn't even know me.
I'm only the one of a lot of stars which admire you.
Is it love?

With all of this coincidences, I can't help wondering what kind of destiny we share.
The similarity between us, the difference between us.
They said, your destined person is either the one who is so much similar with you..
Or the one who is a double-side coin with you.

With all of this coincidences, I can't help wondering what kind of destiny we share.
The moment I know you is not just a coincidence, I start to think it was destiny.
What kind of path we will share?
What kind of string we will had?

 Life surely is a mystery.

soranarumi.
Sunday, April 1st, 2012.

A real boyfriend

 Everyone has their own ideal way of boyfriend. So do I. But I found this on book of quotes. I think this is a good way to express an ideal boyfriend would be, and it would be nice if there is one. So, I want to repost it on my blog. Check this out:

A REAL BOYFRIEND

Don’t care if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now.
I don’t care if you are a guy or a woman or Michael Jackson.
Just read this, it will make a difference.
If only everyone could see this and understand it.

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you cause she thinks shes stronger than you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough, kiss her and tell her you love her

When she’s quiet, ask her whats wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful

When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she’s scared, protect her
When she steals your favorite hoodie, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up

When she says that she loves you, she really does more than you can understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold her’s and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers

When she is mad, hug her tight and don’t let go
When she says she is ok, don’t believe it
When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

Give her the world.
Let her know she’s important.
Kiss her in the pouring rain
Treat her like she’s all that matters to you

Let her wear your clothes
Don’t talk about other girls around her
Stay up all night with her when she’s sick

Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it’s stupid

When she reposts this bulletin, she wants you to read it

~Happy New Year 2012~

So!
Happy new year!

Time will never stop ticking, and we are already on the new year. Time goes so fast, one year already pass and now we are heading to a new year, 2012. A lot of thing happened last year, 2011 will be so memorable for me. Well, every year is memorable. Nothing we can forget, because it is already our past. Don't be so stupid to try to forget our past, even it is a sad or hurt one, because we need our past to overcome our self, we need it to become a better us. There is a lot of thing hurt my heart, and maybe I unintended hurt someone. All people are connected each other, no matter how thin the string which connecting us. Just remember, there is no thing are a coincidence, everything is inevitable.  

Last year is a year of meeting and parting too. Well, there is no meeting without parting. Last year, I finally have a courage to parting with my beloved "boyfriend", and after that I meet someone who inspire me a lot. I never know that "this person" will be someone so special for me, and maybe I will never know if I'm not breaking up with my bf (now ex-bf). Everything happens for a reason.  

"Year" is just something we people create to identified time, but actually we are in our own "time". We are the protagonist of our own story. We are the one who write our own story. We are the one who decide if we'll having a happy life or sad life. So, lets head a new year with a smile. Don't waste your time to be sad, do not write something sad on our own story. Happy new year, and I wish for your smile :)

Wishlist? The only one thing I want now is only Sakurai Sho's new year card with his dragon drawing on it. But it is impossible so I won't take my hope high on it. ahahahaha I hope all of the people in this world can smile longer, even just one second longer.

1 January 2012, with love.

Lady red, soranarumi

Monday train is surely piling up stress

I always taking train from my house to the university because they are in different city. I'm taking early train because I have class on 7 am, so I'm taking 5.30 am 's train. I always go to the university in a dark morning, yihaaa xD ahahaha <-- stress

 

courtesy from ItteQ. Even there is street musician on Economic Train xD

Okay, Monday is a busy day. A lot of people went off early in monday morning. Well, busy people. There is two kind of train in Indonesia, one is Commuter Line (with AC) and Economic train (without AC). I can't take Economic because it is too crowded!! If you are Japanese, Imoto-san from ItteQ TV show already try Economic train and she.. almost dead xDD Well, it is funny to see her trying it in busy time, it is not safe for girls especially me because I have to bring my laptop everyday ahahahaha .Well, Commuter Line is crowded too (in busy hours like 6 am till 8 am when people are went off for work and 5 pm till 9 pm when people went off for home) but the early 5.30 am train is not really crowded. In Commuter Line train, there is girls-only place too, so it is safe from sexual-harassment case.

Okay back to topic.
In Monday, the 5.30's train is crowd. Why? because Monday is Busy day. I'm trying to pack myself so I can go in, BUT there is annoying ma'am's group sitting NOT on the train's chair. They are using packed chair and sitting in front of the unused door. The situation is much like this: 

This photo is not mine, and this is on the mixed place. 

But the situation is much like this. There is people using their own chair on the train.

You know how I feel. The train is crowd, and there is people using their own chair. THEY ARE WASTING PLACE! GOSH, THIS IS MENTAL-HARASSMENT! SRSLY. Even there is a rules saying that we can't used our own chair on the train. I think it is okay to use your own chair IF the train is not crowded, I really don't mind it BUT if the train is full please do not used it!!

And you know, people keep saying "please stand up ma'am, the train is crowded, please let the other have space" and they are ignoring it. And there someone saying, "dear teacher, please don't use your own chair" <-- well from this talk I know that the ma'am group is all teacher.  And they are replying : "it is okay, we will set off from train on Lenteng Agung". In that time, Lenteng Agung station is remain two station later. Well, no one complaining, after all we have just to resist for another two station.

Two station passed, they are not moving! And they are set off in the same station with me, on the next 8 station on Cawang station. Do you can imagined how I feel?? Angry, lost of my patience, and disappointed. 

I'm really disappointed because they are TEACHER, oh gosh, where is your INTEGRITY as a TEACHER? The train is crowded and it is hard even to stand but they are just sitting in their own chair and babbling and mumbling and talking randomly =___= you are only a teacher if you are at school?? so, if a teacher are not at school they are not a teacher? well this kind of thing can be called mental-harassment. We are buying ticket so we deserved for our space, they are buying ticket and I'm buying too. People buying too, so we shared the same train. But please can we consider each other, we are the same! We can be so tired too, not just you so you dont have right to just sit as you please with your own chair and make the space for other gone. One space for people sitting by their own chair can be consider for two space for people standing. Ah, I really bad at explaining in English. But you sure know what I mean. Is it okay for people to using their own chair IF the train is not crowded, but IF it is crowded, please DO NOT USE IT.

Killing time with some internet personality quiz

Sometimes we can use internet to kill time, so I tried some personality quiz. I never believe in horoscope or fortune-telling, because I create my own future and I don't need anyone to tell me what should I do.  I believe in my own potential. But I love personality quiz, it feels more like an IQ test which have some personality assessment on it. You can try this quiz too here

Your rainbow is shaded red.

What is says about you: You are a passionate person. You appreciate energetic people. You get bored easily and want friends who will keep up with you.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Let's see now....

1. Color is Red
Yes, my favorite color is red. Always red, sometimes pink and white and black. Red-color theme fashion is a must.

2. You are a passionate person.
Am I? People tend to said that I should focus on one thing which I can't because they said I have passion in too much field. I'm adventurous and love to try something new. As I love too much field, a question such "what's your hobby?" can be so troublesome for me. .............. what is "passionate" anyway? :P

3. You appreciate energetic people.
Yes, I don't like pessimistic behavior. I prefer to have energetic people around me.

4. You get bored easily and want friends who will keep up with you.
 Exactly. I realize I tend to get bored easily, so sometimes I should keep motivating myself to keep doing somethings. And yes, I want a friend who can keep up with me and my high-tension behavior.

What a Day

Kemaren (12 Agustus 2010), gw berdelapan (gw, Agung, Ryan, Eggy, Aconk, Papank, Samin, Meisa) buka puasa bersama di Depok Town Square alias Detos. Karena nyokap gw nyuruh gw bawa es jelly akhirnya gw dateng telat. Awalnya gw pikir gw telat, ternyata yang dateng baru pacar gw, dan tiga teman gw. Berarti sama gw itungannya jadi baru berlima. Dan tiga temen gw datang belakangan.

Rencananya kita mau makan MoenMoenSteak dan alhamdulillah kita bisa mesen tuh makanan tapi yang disediain cuma menu ayam, yaudah deh. Dan udiknya gw, gw gasuka makan pake garpu pisau. Tapi untungnya bukan gw doang yang gabisa, hahaha masih ada dua manusia lagi yang gabisa (baca: Aconk + Samin). Dan yang gw heran, temen gw, si Ryan itu, dia apa juga gasuka. Dia gasuka sambel, jadi udah pasti dia ga makan pake sambel, dan yang bikin gw heran,  dia gamau makan sayurnya juga, yang cuma wortel kentang buncis. Akhirnya diambil-ambilin lah sama temen-temen gw yang lain.

Satu hal yang bikin gw kelabakan. Temen-temen gw pada pake kemeja. Damn. Buat yang gatau, gw paling gabisa liat cowok pake kemeja. Bukan dalam artian gasuka, tapi gw suka banget! (yang jelas-jelas bikin pacar gw suka sengaja godain gw kalo dia pake kemeja) Gw jadi maluuuuu karena gw suka gak sadar meratiin mereka. Damn, pacar gw kayaknya tau tuh gw ngeliatin dan meratiin temen-temen cowok gw itu yang berkemeja. Dan tiba-tiba dia bilang, "tau ga? kalau aku lagi keingetan sama mantan, aku coba lupainnnya dengan cara inget2 moment2 kita itu" Gw langsung ga konek. Moment2 yang mana ya? Moment-moment kita kan banyak. Gw peratiin muka dia, dan ekspresi dia yang khas. Oooh moment2 yang itu, yang selalu bikin gw ketawa kalau inget. Dan langsung spontan gw nabok dia. ANJRIT GW MALUUUU. AAAAAAAH rasanya gw langsung pengen teriak. Jadi selama ini dia inget2 itu terus? Aaaaah.. malu banget gw ampe rasanya gw pengen ngumpet dibawah meja.

Ya dan cukup cerita tentang kata-kata cowok gw yang bikin gw malu ampe sekarang.

Pas kita mau pulang, kita ngeliat-liat hamster dulu. Bikin gw inget kalau beberapa hari yang lalu gw bilang ma pacar gw kalo gw pengen melihara hamster. Ah gendut2 banget, lucu. Gw mau banget beli tapi gw ga bawa duit. Hehehe nabung dulu deh.

Bocah-bocah pulang, gw dan pacar gw ke Gramedia Depok dulu. Karena itu udah termasuk malam, jadinya udah agak sepi. Niatnya mau nyari buku buat bahan gw kuliah, alias "Matematika Komputer" sama  "Algoritma Pemrograman". Tapi karena gw lagi sakit, gw udah puyeng, gw baca disana, and ga ada yang masuk otak gw sama sekali.haha. Terus kita liat-liat tas yang pacar gw incer, hahah moga-moga cepet dapet deh sayang :D

What a day.

Interview (again)

Kemaren (17 Juni 2010), gw ke gubuk belajar gw yang baru, universitas baru gw, buat wawancara lagi. Well, technically, I already passed the test and all I have to do know are preparing for the orientation program. Tapi ternyata gw dipanggil lagi, katanya mau wawancara lagi, tapi kali ini wawancara ama direktur fellowshipnya alias ama direktur yang nanganin masalah beasiswa gw ini.

Seinget gw, gw dipanggil jam 10. Oke gw siap2 dari rumah udah sekitar jam 9 gw jalan. Eh sampai sana, gw dikasih tau kalo wawancara jam 1. Oh god, gw mesti ngapain dulu?

Setelah muter-muter ngeliat-liat UKM yang lagi di kampus, akhirnya gw putusin buat ke ruangan nyokap gw buat ngenet. Naiklah gw ke lantai 2, ke ruangan nyokap gw yang jadi dosen ilmu Komunikasi disana. Wow! Udah lama gak main ke kampus, ternyata dah banyak yang berubah... dan gw pangling. Untung gw kagak nyasar :P

Pas masuk. Wow! Gw lebih pangling *haha lebay* ruangannya dah beda and orang-orang di ruangannya udah beda-beda semua. Mampus dah gw. Karena nyokap gw udah duluan di ruangan, dia nyuruh gw kenalan ama yang ada di ruangan itu. Untung gak ada yang ngeliatin gw dengan tatapan aneh dsb wkwkwkwk. Gw duduk di cubicle nyokap gw and ngenet pake laptop gw, yang bikin gw gak percaya, max speed hotspotnya 24MB! Tapi gw mlah g donlod apa2.. bodohnya gw!

Akhirnya waktu wawancara, jam 1, yang wawancara ngaret ampe jam setengah 2. Ternyata yang wawancara ini ada tiga orang, termasuk gw, gw dari TI, satu dari desain, satu lagi psikologi. Pertama-tama yang diwawancara itu si cewek desain, lamaaaaa banget, dan kemudian baru gw. Awalnya gw takut banget, takut knp2, hahahaha, eh ternyata gw kenal ama yang ngewawancara, yaelah.

Wawancara yang lebih kayak ngobrol.
Itu kesan gw, mungkin karena gw udah kenal jadi gw jawabnya juga santai dan sekeluarnya. Dan ada satu pertanyaan yang membekas:

"Apa kegagalan terbesar kamu? Sesuatu yang membuat kamu merasa benar-benar gagal?"

 Gw tertegun sesaat dan gw kaget ama apa yang gw jawab sendiri. Gw jawab dengan suara bergetar.

"Saya telah gagal menjadi sahabat seseorang. Disaat seharusnya saya mendoakan kebahagiaannya, saya tidak bisa melakukan hal itu. Bahkan sampai sekarang pun, ini hal yang terus saya sesali. Kenapa saya tidak bisa membiarkannya bahagia, atau mungkin hal yang dia anggap membahagiakannya. Kenapa saya renggut semua itu. Saya sendiri tidak tahu. Kalau diminta saya memang tidak mau menjadi sahabatnya lagi, karena ternyata ia sendiri tidak menganggap saya seperti itu. Menjadi sahabat itu sulit"

....................................... gw setelah ngomong itu langsung speechless.
Hell, kenapa gw mesti jawab kayak gitu *plak plak plak* Tapi setelah itu wawancara berjalan dengan normal dan akhirnya selesai jam 3 *wow lama banget ternyata* dan gw langsung nyamperin nyokap and go home.   Meski padahal tadinya gw mau ketemu sama si pacar dulu tapi si pacar ujiannya dah selesai dari jam 1, gak enak kalo dia nunggu lama-lama..

Ah kangen pacar

Silly Sunday

Okay, I hate today. I hate this sunday.

Kenapa ? Soalnya gw harus ikut tes seleksi ke sebuah universitas swasta. Gw gamau masuk ke universitas ini. Kenapa gamau ? gw juga gatau kenapa gw gamau. Gw cuma ikutin kata hati gw seperti biasanya. Dan entah kenapa orang tau gw kukuh banget gw harus masuk ke universitas ini, dan gw ga boleh ikut tes PTN yang gw pengen tapi tetep aja gw bakal ikut tes PTN yang gw mau secara diem-diem. Ini kan kehidupan gw, gw harusnya punya hak untuk meminta apa yang gw [dan hak ortu gw juga untuk nuntun gw] tapi seenggaknya pendapat gw didenger dong!

Pas berangkat tadi, sekitar jam 7an. Gw ngamuk dulu, yang namanya nangis sejadi-jadinya *gw baru kali ini nolak sesuatu ampe nangis2* Akhirnya gw pasrah, dan ortu gw cuma bilang "Yah udahlah, jalanin aja dulu" Yaudah, no offense lagi dari gw.

Nyampe sana, jam 8 pas. Pas banget sama waktu ujian dimulai. Ujian pertama ini, ujian bahasa Inggris. damn, baru pertama kali gw bilang kalo tes bahasa inggris itu susah!  Pertama kali gw ngalamin kesulitan di tes reading! Kalau listeningnya sih gw masih pede.. tapi readingnya! zz.. cuma bisa bilang "DAHSYAT!"

Ujian selesai jam 9. Lanjut ke tes wawancara. Tapi sebelum itu, dapet snack dulu, roti isi coklat cair. heu. pas banget gw ga sarapan! Baru aja mau gw makan, eh udah aja tuh gw dipanggil buat wawancara. Mana ruangannya dingin ga keruan.

Wawancara selesai jam 10. Padahal gw sendirian aja, tapi wawancara ampe makan waktu satu jam. Langsung aja gw ciao dari tuh tempat, pengen cepet nelpon si ayank

Nah pas perjalanan pulang ini, gw meratiin jalan. Yang gw kocak, 1) gw liat tempat cuci steam, ada menu "CUCI ES KRIM" WTF?! Apaan lagi itu? Kalo misalnya snow wash mah gw tau.. tapi ini Es krim? wkwkwk gak jelas. 2) Ada sate PSK. what the hell! apaan tuh yang disate? pengen nyobaa tapi gw pengen pulang jugaa...

Nyampe rumah, gw langsung nelpon si ayang, tapi gak diangkat. Yaudah OL dulu, nah sejam kemudian baru deh nelpon si ayank lagi. hheheu. Kangen banget. *headshot* Yah udah deh, gw cuma mau bilang, hari ini gw emosional banget dah ah, ampe digodain gw gara2 nangis :(

liburan (baca: bete)

Gw benci banget ama liburan. Oke, setiap gw sekolah, gw pengen libur. Giliran udah libur, gw mao sekolah. Tapi gimana mau sekolah? Gw kan udah mau lulus?! Ngapain gw udah mau lulus begini masih juga ke sekolah? Masih jaman? *headshot*

Kenapa gw benci banget ama liburan? Dompet gw kering. Dan gw selalu bete setiap gw gak ada kerjaan, dan liburan = dompet kering = di rumah terus = gak ada kerjaan = bete. Actually, bukannya gw gak ada kerjaan, masih ada kerjaan rumah kayak ngepel nyuci dkk, tapi biasanya itu selese dengan cepet. Dan lagi liburan begini, hasrat gw buat belanja itu muncul dengan cepat. Aaaaah gw pengen belanja-belanja.. tapi duitnya gak ada


Kalo liburan kerjaan gw:

1. Cuma duduk di depan komputer gw, download-download anime sampe harddisk ngeraung gara2 kepenuhan dan bikin watching list gw nambah dari hari ke hari. Gw jadi sering dimarahin gara2 di depan komputer terus yah tapi gapapa lah, toh gw kan mau masuk jurusan komputer *amin* (lho?! apa hubungannya)
   
2. Nulis blog2 yang makin gajelas dari hari kehari. Gw jadi ga punya bahan sama sekali buat blog, toh sehari2 gw cuma baca komik ato maen komputer doang
   
3. Makan terus, tapi berat gw malah turun. padahalawalnya berat gw 44 kg, dan itu udah dinaikin dengan susah payah! eh sekarang turun lagi jadi 41 kg dalam sehari. Haaa gw pengen genduut dikiiit ajaaa.. susah bener!!
   

Tapi gw pengennya:

1. Belajar gitar. Tapi setiap liat gitarnya tiba2 gw ngerasa pissed off. Kesel duluan. Berkali-kali gw berusaha membujuk gitar itu supaya gw jadi mau mainin dia, eh tuh gitar malah nyolot *padahal gw sendiri yg nyolot* yaudah deh ga jadi2 ini gw belajar maen gitar. Sebenernya, basicnya gw udah bisa, tapi entah kenapa gw selalu pissed off klo ngeliat gitar. Mungkin gw sebenernya kesel gara2 gabisa jago :P
   
2. Mulai usaha. Tapi mesin jahit-nya gak ada. Pengen banget minta dibeliin. Gak ada modalnya juga. gw pengen bikin toko sendiri, yang barang2 disana gw sendiri yang bikin. tapi kok susah bener ya mulainya. Yang penting ntar gw bisa bayar duit kuliah gw sendiri biar gak terlalu nyusahin orangtua.
   
3. Pengen si pacar tetep deket. Tapi rumahnya rada jauh  and kalo gak sekolah kan jadi jarang ketemu. Gimana cara ketemunya yah? Ya cuma bisa janjian doang euy, gabisa kaya dulu yang bisa tiap hari ketemu di sekolah. Ah, gw kangen banget pacaran di sekolah *headshot*
   

Heu. Liburan bikin bete aja ah.

Tinggal tunggu perpisahan, ama pengumuman kelulusan. Gw pesimis gw lulus, gimana ya klo gw gak lulus? HEU, jangan mikir kayak gitu!  Pasti gw lulus lah, nilai pas-pas-an juga kagak ngapa, yang penting gw lulus!

Gara-gara gw gak ada kerjaan gw jadi dibilang "pengangguran" sama ortu gw. Sial.

Happy Bornday to me

yes. Today is April 7th, soo..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Hey I'm 18th today. Congratulate me XD~
Gw mao hadiah gw mao hadiah pokoknya harus hadiah
*headshot karena kehebohan sendiri*

ZZZzzzzZZZzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZZ

Oke, gw udah lebih kalem. Hahaha, gw excited banget, hari ini, 18 tahun yang lalu, nyokap gw mempertaruhkan nyawa dia cuma supaya gw bisa ngerasain yang namanya hidup di dunia ini. Dan setelah gw pikir2, selama 18 tahun gw hidup, kok kayaknya gw cuma bikin masalah aja yah? Susaaah banget yang namanya nyenengin orangtua. Yang ada gw cuma ngecewain mereka doang, bikin mereka susah. Liat ya umi, ayah, ntar kalo saya udah mandiri dan dewasa nanti, saya pasti akan bikin kalian bangga!

Terus terus terus..
Selama 18 tahun ini, gw ngerasa udah banyak banget garam yang gw makan, tapi itu semua belum cukup. Gw inget banget, hampir semua kejadian-kejadian penting dari jamannya gw SD ampe gw mau lulus SMA sekarang. Semua tangis gw, jeritan gw, canda gw, tawa gw, senyum gw, semua penyebabnya gw inget banget. Dan gw amat sangat berterima kasih kepada orang-orang yang selama ini sudah ada buat gw, dan membuat gw ngerasain semua itu, karena dengan semua cobaan yang ada, sekarang gw bisa lebih dan lebih kuat lagi.

Cita-cita gw, selama 18 tahun kebelakang ini selalu berubah-ubah. Dulu waktu kecil, gw pengen banget jadi penulis novel. Waktu itu gw udah bikin novel2 kecil yang ampe bejibun dan hampir semuanya udah kebuang (?). Trus berganti, gw pengen jadi ilmuwan. Ilmuwan apa juga gak jelas, yang penting ilmuwan *haha* soalnya kalau jadi ilmuwan gw bisa nemuin banyak benda-benda baru (?). Terus waktu es-em-pe, nih paling banyak cita-cita gw ganti. Pertama, mau jadi arkeolog. Kenapa? karena jadi arkeolog itu seru, apalagi beruurusan sama sejarah2 dunia. Hmm seru banget. Terus, gw mau jadi Penemu UFO, maksudnya yang bikin UFO untuk pertama kalinya. Gw pengen bikin UFO karena itu menantang banget, dan strukturnya yang beda sama roket2 yang ada sekarang. Hng, terus mau jadi designer, yang ampe sekarang desain2 gw udah numpuk di kamar gw. Jadi fotografer, yang belom kesampean gara2 gak ada kameranya ~.~ .Apalagi yah, jadi Ahli IT nomer satu, yang terus ampe sekarang. Meski sebenernya udah hampir tercapai.. tapi malah gw leletin prosesnya. geez.

Jadi sekarang-sekarang ini bisa dibilang cita-cita gw itu gabungan dari Ahli IT+Arkeolog+Desainer+Penemu UFO *gak jelas banget* yah namanya juga mimpi, mesti digantung setinggi-tingginya kan, tapi kira-kira bisa nggak yah semuanya terkabul. wkwkwk *ngakak sendiri*

Ahh, gw makin gajelas.
Dan gw akan bercerita tentang pangeran gw. Jah elaaaah bahasa gw *headshot headshot*
Pangeran gw, orangnya lucu abis, imut, haha gw jadi ngakak sendiri. Tapi serius! Pujaan hati gw ini tingkahnya persis kucing, lucu banget. Duh gw mau cerita tapi rada gak enak juga. Hoho. Yang jelas gw sangat bersyukur setelah apa yang gw alamin akhirnya gw bertemu dengan dia yang selalu nerima gw dan bersabar dengan ketidakjelasan gw dan bisa menghadapi tingkah2 gw yang kadang suka gakjelas. Yan gjelas gw sangat menyayangi dia dan gw gamau kehilangan dia, dan semoga perasaan ini bisa terus, terus terus, dan teruuus ada :3 ILU hunny :*

18 tahun hidup gw. Akan terus bertambah dan gw akan semakin dewasa dan lebih kuat lagi.
Gw cuma bisa berdoa supaya gw nantinya bisa sukses dan bisa membahagiakan kedua orangtua gw.