Hello mr.Doppelganger

When destiny try to twist by itself.

Day by day, you come, and come, and come to my mind.
Again, again, and again. It's hard to brush you up from my heart.
Well hello mister doppelganger, can you please let me hear your words?




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Okay, trying to be artistic with words. But, this is really words which illustrating what happened now to me. I try to address him as mister doppelganger for our 'same'-ness and 'opposite'-ness. I'm so thirst to talk to him, to hear his mind words. I don't know if I can categorize this as love, or just a simple adore.

I don't have particular type I want from a man. Just simple, brainy and older than me. I can't even see my university friends as 'a man' because I tend to see them as a person on the same age with me. Well, yes, even with the senior, I can't see them as 'a man', even if they can be categorized as a brainy man. Then ? What actually I search on a man? Nothing. Seriously. I can't and never feel love in the first sight. I should know him as my friend first. Yes, I don't have particular type but I'm a person who tend to be a fan of my boyfriend. If a man caught my attention, he will be "my type".

That's why... I think I adore this person in the first time. He is not even my friend or anything, he is just a man out of my range. He is so smart with his words, he put his friend first, he is attractive in my eyes. I'm so curious with all of the question piled up since I know him. Why we are so similar in a lot ways? Why we have something so opposite?

Day by day, my question piled up more and more.

Well, if we think about it closely, this is what human called about. Human completing each other. Similar things between humans, and the opposite things between humans. All of the human in this world like that. Do I really love him? Or it is just because I adore him, he always in my mind?

Because I think of him, I start to get off from my own track. Please get out from my head. I'm trying not to be jealous, because jealous can't give me anything. I can't help to cry out my frustration, I want to hear your voice so badly. Maybe I will cry in the time I see you. And with all of this proof, why I can't assure myself that I love you?

Dear myself, why you can't fall in love easily?